The corner of Faith and Doubt

Ever trekking along and then hit a cross roads, you look up and you are on the corner of Faith and Doubt. You think to yourself "How on earth did I get here?"  You have to choose, there is no middle option but you feel overwhelmed and unsure of which direction to go.  Your mind tells you go right, FAITH is always the answer.  So you look right but it is an unpaved gravel road with major potholes, one lane with a very narrow shoulder.  Then you look left and it is a paved, multi lane road with a wide shoulder and paved walking paths on the sides.  The paved road certainly looks more appealing. However, it is long and curvy and eventually connects back to Faith never getting you to your destination.  Faith on the other hand, while it looks like a harder road to travel is straight, shorter distance and leads you directly to your destination.   

I was reminded of the story of Peter...you know the one where he stepped out of the boat to walk on the water?  It is found in Matthew 14, recorded right after the disciples just witnessed Jesus feed the 5,000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish.  I mean wow, to see that had to boost your faith right?!  Wrong....

      22 Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. 23 After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.

24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning[b] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said.“Take courage. I am here![c]”

28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[d] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped.33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.

When they first saw Jesus walking towards them they were afraid, no "Maybe it's Jesus, because HE could walk on water."  No, King James says they thought it was a spirit, the NLT which I have quoted here translates it a ghost.  That was the first thought, spoken out of FEAR!   Then Jesus speaks to them, they know His voice by now so he says "Don't be afraid. Take courage. I am here!"   Yes, no doubt now right...wrong....   Peter replies and says "Lord if it is really you tell me to come to you walking on water."  Jesus says "Yes, come!"  OK, witnessed a miracle, see Jesus walking on the water, heard His voice, so in response to HIS call Peter steps out of the boat onto the water and began to walk toward Jesus ON THE WATER!   No sinking, walking on the water as though it were dry ground, until.....  Until he took his eyes off of Jesus and focused on the water.  The water being driven by the wind, waves, constant movement, pulling and pushing in one direction or another....and he began to sink.  "Save me Lord!" he cried out and Jesus reached out and took hold of him but asked "Why did you doubt me?"  

Why do you doubt me?          Why do you doubt me?       Standing on the corner of Faith and Doubt that question haunts me.  The answer, same as above, but for me it came in a yoga pose.  Yes I have begun to take yoga classes and love them.  I had no idea how much I would enjoy the benefits that would come from them.  My favorite pose right now is the half chair to ankle pose,  it looks like this....

Now the first time I tried this pose I kept loosing my balance.  Couldn't keep my ankle up on my leg and hold it there for anything.  I kept falling over.  Then the yoga instructor gave this piece of advice.... "Focus on one spot in front of you and just stare there.  If you do that you can maintain your balance.  If you start to look around you will loose your balance and fall out of the pose."  Who knew God could use yoga to speak to me, because as I was holding my pose focusing on one spot God said "You have to focus on me and me alone to keep trekking down the Faith road.  You start looking around, taking in the circumstances, and you will end up right where you are on the corner of Faith and Doubt every time."    Ok, Lord!  I don't want to be one of little faith, I don't want to see you, hear your voice, respond to your call, and still look around instead of focusing on you and lose my balance, sink, or end up at a crossroads such as now.

He reminds me of a promise He made me in Proverbs chapter 3

5 Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

6 In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

So standing on that corner I go right because the gravel, the potholes, the narrow lane, and shoulder don't stand a chance against my Jesus who walks on water.